Spotted a Championship defender shit-faced in a bar wiping his cock on the curtains?

Had a elevensome with the whole of Plymouth Argyle on a pool table?

Heard some amazing transfer gossip?

Well then, what the hell are you waiting for?

We are of course brilliant and completely untouchable when it comes to scurrilous filth and that is mainly down to you. We always welcome your stories, titbits and rumours with open arms and a proud, glistening erection. So do get involved and tell us all those little stories about famous people you have stored in the back of your brains. Your anonymity is 100% guaranteed although we may drop you an email to check you aren't a complete lunatic.

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