The Corner

GGRRRR! Angry angry ANGRY! HATE HATE! STAB STAB! It's OK. Sit down, long deep breaths - get it all off your magnificent, globular chests in The Corner.

David Platt

For single-handedly destroying Forest. For assuming anyone in Serie B would be better than anyone in the Championship. For not understanding what being England captain was about

The Heroes

Hey, we're all adults*- it isn't all heavy negative shit**. There are millions and millions of amazing people and things in the world and this is where they get the recognition they deserve. In your face Nobel! Fuck you Lord God! This is what the people want… *we aren't ** it is

Peter Beardsley

Never had a shocker. Not even in that Carlsberg ad

The Rules

Being Kings of gossip, we live by our own rules. You know, wipe front to back, any hole's a goal, be nice to your mum etc... Here are some of yours!

Coloured boots

Sunday league footballers - never wear coloured boots unless you are SURE you are the best player in your team (and others agree with you)

The Board

If you've ever lay in bed and thought to yourself "Christ it's lonely being this perverted, foul mouthed and slightly odd. If only there was a virtual world where I could adopt an anonymous pseudonym, shave 5 years off my age, 3 inches off my waistline where people need never know I eat cereal straight from the packet for dinner." Well… knock yourself out.

One Night in Turin

Last night i went to the Press screening of One Night in Turin, it's a film based on the excellent book "All Played Out" by Pete Davies. The film is brilliant, i thoroughly recommend trying to get tickets to the one day Cinema release on 7th May. It's especially poignant if, like me, you are old enough to remember the heartbreak we all went through as Waddle's penalty sailed over the bar, but i would think younger football fans would also enjoy a look back at how football used to be (quite odd watching keepers picking up backpasses, for one).