• Name: Alex Ferguson
• Age: 68
• Plays for Man Utd (gaffer)
• Mad skill: The Hairdryer Treatment, pointing at his watch
• Achilles heel: Timekeeping
• Most Likely to: Boycott those public-school s**ts at the BBC for the rest of his life
• Man of the match: 4
• Red Cards: 2

Fergie was made - forged - on the hardknock streets of Govan in Glasgow, and so even as a pensioner he's roughly ten times harder than today's pampered players. Cross him once and he'll show you who's the boss. Just ask the likes of Paul Ince (Gaffer > Guvnor), Jaap Stam and David Beckham, all of whom departed Old Trafford after a dust-up with Ferguson.

How long will Fergie go on? Forever, probably. Longer, even. He'll still be there in the Old Trafford home dressing room, blasting out the Hairdryer, when Goaly Moly is nowt but dust. You have to admire that.